We wanted to congratulate Zane on his new book of published poems, "Cooter, Scooter, Tooter, and other Folks I've Known," published by RandomHorse.

When you smell fresh manure

Or see convicts in town

And you are sure

That you’ve seen a clown

Don’t be too concerned

It’s just the rodeo

Down in Pody-do

There’s a snorting bull named Clyde

That will kick and buck

The skin right off your hide

There’s ropin’ and ridin’

Broncin’ cowboys--

Without any fears‘cos they’re all in for 20 years

They all try to ride‘til the clock says "08"

Run for coverAnd upchuck what they ate

It’s a great big show

That Pody-do Rodeo

There’s barrel racin’

That will set any

Cowboy’s heart a-pacin’

But if you get bored

Just wait...It won’t be long

Before a clown gets gored

What more could you want?

Hooves a-flyin’

Convicts a-cryin’

Some a-dyin’‘cos they weren’t a-tryin’

It’s a great big show

That Pody-do Rodeo

And then the day is done

The dust settles down

Some have lost--some have won

You say goodbye to the clown

You leave for home happy

The convicts are in tears

You can go home

But the convicts--

They’ve got to serve another 20 years

And that’s the great big show

At the Pody-do Prison Rodeo

Oh, how do I thank you, my love

For all the good times we had

Drinkin’, smokin’, dancin’, spittin’

At your Daddy’s weddin’ day

The time when we hunted deer

And shot that poor man

What was his name?

It don’t matter--he’s dead

Oh, and the time you ate manure on a dare!

What treasured memories we have, my love

Or that time when you drank

The ‘shine and beat up the cop

What stories we have for our kids

Oh my love! My love!

Oh, the times we have had

The time we fished with dynamite

And ended up in the clink

It was all for you, my love!

What joy can compare to thee

And me eatin’ fried chicken

Under the sycamore tree

Oh, my love

Polyester and bass boat finish are for you

Oh my love! My love! My! Love!

Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening

I was out riding on my four-wheeler

One night

Vroom, vroom I say

We were taking the back way

To my house

To see my spouse

Of seventeen years and a day

The snow had fallen

All around the woods

And they were a-callin’

‘Cos I’d been hit by one of my moods

Oh were those woods a-callin’

I stopped the four-wheeler

To stop and stare

It was a head reeler

Out there in the winter air

Snow falling lightly

The chill deep and cold

And I felt a-mightly

Good and old

The woods they beckoned

Out to me

And I reckoned

That I would be free

I killed the motor swiftly

And walked a-ways

It sure was nifty

Just like the poet says

The dark was all around

No birds cheeping

No, not a sound

Of anything peeping

And I was thinking of my grieving

As I stopped by the woods on a snowy evening

How they called out

Asking me to follow

It was like a shout

There in the hollow

And the pain held me fast

I knew I had to go

Or I wouldn’t last

There in the snow

The anguish consumed

Oh, the pain I felt

Inside of me it boomed

Oh, the pain I felt

As I stopped by the woods no a snowy evening

And there I found a tree

In my moment of grieving

And had me a pee

On that snowy evening

I hopped back on my rig

And was gone in a flash

The pain had been so big

More than any rash

Oh and my grieving

As I stopped by the woods on a snowy evening

The Rubber in the Bait

Squiggley pig twisted tail shoot spinner with added stink

Make-shift potato squealer

With a touch of mink

The fish always wonder what they ate

When I go fishin’ with RubberBait

Hammerhead slink toothed gumjos

Flat-pink slipped gainer crumblows

Or there’s jasper zingers with extra hooks

And milly mouthed jelly spooks

They all do well when fishin’

And if it’s flatheads you been missin’

Then don’t waste time

Listenin’ to this here rhyme

If you wanna catch ‘em

Without being late

Make sure there’s Rubber in the bait

Glow tapeworm stinkum fasten tailed blood and guts blasters

Use them and you’ll catch the fish faster

Jiggle footed possum toe-joes

And the fish will forget what he knows

Oh, yes if you wanna catch a fish and his mate

Make sure there’s Rubber in the bait.

A Greasy Hamburger and a Cigarette

Oh an ode to a greasy hamburger and a cigarette

As I sit on this faded green barstool

The grease runs down my hand in rivers making me smile

I have found the perfect hamburger and I am smiling

Oh, joyful glee at the sound of a frying hamburger

Joy and glee! Joy and glee

I tell thee!

The meat is not yet done

There are cigarette ashes mixed with the pickles and lettuce

I smile yet again at the joy I have found

Who can say that they have found so much joy?

Only those who eat what I am eating followed by a cigarette

Oh, the grease

The cigarette ash mixed for taste

The waitress polishing her one tooth with her finger

These are the days to be remembered

Oh, yes, I say

A greasy hamburger and a cigarette

That is what I say to you with parted smile

Fast and furious with a touch of thirty-year old wallpaper

Pieces for added taste and flavor

Oh, yes!

Who can say that they are as happy as I?

No one I say

Unless you have eaten a greasy hamburger and a cigarette

The nuance is divine

The character rich

It’s driving me to the point of insanity

Can anyone be as happy as me?

Oh no--unless they’ve eaten a greasy hamburger and cigarette.

For Thy Name Is As Honey

Oh, joy to me at having found you

beside the sycamore tree

How can I describe you, my love?

Your lips, oh how they speak!

Speak! Your lips!

Oh, I am weak--oh, how I swoon!

I am thine and you are thou—

enough for two men to handle

Joyous cheeks! Joyous!

Joyous! Joyous! I say! Joyous!

You are as the rabid lark who feeds on bugs at midnight!

My heart does flutter at the joy of thy name!

For thy name is as honey

from the doomed bumble bee!

Joy! Honey! Doom!

Doom! I say! Doom!

You are a turtle-you are a dove,

but not together!

Oh never!

Yours is the name that I cannot utter,

I am not worthy

Never could I be!

Never, never!

I shiver, quiver.

Shiver! Quiver!

Your eyes! Your lips!

Your nose! Your cheeks!

Your tooth!

Oh, oh, oh.

You have bewitched me, you have.

I faint! I weep! I die!Faint! Weep! Die!

Daring Things I Like to Do

I like to eat hot sauce with my ice cream

While 3 below in the shade

I like to go down to the stream

Afterwards and wade

I like to chase armadillos at night

With my John Deere mower

I like to give them a fright

I like to play baseball the country way

With aluminum bat in hand

I knock the mailboxes out for a triple play

I like greased hog catches in June

Suck helium from a balloon

Put red pepper on my watermelon

What I’ll do, there ain’t no tellin’

I like to gig a frog

Get stuck in a bog

Eat 12 pecan logs

Oh, the daring things I like to do

I like to jog in my skivvies

Throw the girls into tizzies

Oh, the daring things I like to do

I like to throw cow chips

I like triple burger flips

Surf boarding on the hood of my truck

Selling my plasma to make a buck

I like to spit tobacco juice in the wind

Or, see how much money my mamma will lend

There is no end to the daring things I like to do

Eat horse radish stew

Give my friends the flu

Join a chaingang crew

Blow up an outdoor loo

Become the new exhibit at the zoo

Oh there is no end to the daring things I like to do

Wouldn’t you join me too?

In those daring things I like to do?

Towns in Oklahoma That Tickle My Fancy

Apache, Bokoshe, Comanche, Kiamichi, Nelagoney, Skedee

Spavinaw, Tiawah, Tonkawa, Tahlequah, Konowa, Etowah

Oh the towns in Oklahoma that have tickled my fancy—

Texhoma, Tushahoma, Texola, Dacoma, Panola, Indiahoma, Indiaola, and Lahoma

Just to name a few—

Box, Doxey, Duke, Zeb, and Zena

Swink, Poteau, Slapout, and Blue

Quapaw, Ninnekah, Sasakawa, and Coodys Bluff

And if that weren’t enough, there’s

Wapanucka, Waurika, Weleetka, Wetumka, Wewoka, and Wakita

And if you hurry up and hussle

You might see

Nowata, Pocasset, Loco, and Bugtussle

Or if you’re looking for something fair, there’s

Fairfax, Fairmont, Fair Oaks, Fairland, and Fairview

Grainola, Geronimo, Canute, and Gotebo, too

Oh these wonderful towns with the funny little names

If we didn’t have them our state wouldn’t be the same

We’ve got—

Pawhuska, Okemah, Tushka, and Cookietown

If you’re looking to get around, there’s

Aledo, Ahloso, Chilocco, and Arapaho

But in your travels take this advice

Don’t get caught dead

In Briartown, Rubottom, Yahola, or Bushyhead

Oh the towns in Oklahoma that have tickled my fancy

Go out and see them, it is a must

But when you want love

And just a bit of nutsiness

Come visit my hometown of Red Dust

To be a Reindeer

Oh, to be one of Santa’s own reindeer and given a dumb name

My name is something like Comet or Blupid

I don’t really know

The man in the red suit just calls me Stupid

The jolly, fat elf shakes his fist

And cusses me out

About a house I’ve missed

Or my uncontrollable gout

You may look forward to Christmas Eve night

But my guts shake

And I am filled with fright

Because the man in red quakes

He rages and yells our names

He isn’t interested in playin’

Fun little reindeer games

He loads his sack with toys

For the good girls and boys

But he curses us and kicks the snow

Flicks cigar ash on me

And quickly lets me know

Where I would be

If it weren’t were for him

And with that, I would have to agree

I would be in a place where

I would know my name

Instead of Comet or Blupid

And especially his favorite name for me

Stupid.

A Dream of Christmas

Oh, the things you dream at Christmas time—

Oh, that dream of Christmas!

Stockings with Nascar tickets

And under the tree

Solid chrome sink spigots

For thee and for me

I do love Christmas time dreaming

With scenes of ice water swimming

And chitlins hot and steaming

A chainsaw under the tree with care

And a toupee of real folks’ hair

Oh, a dream of Christmas! What a dream!

A new collar of leather for my birddog

A bow of silk for my prize-winning hog

An all day and night burning gas log

And a gallon jug of gran-pappies’ homemade egg nog

Yum-yum! Yum-yum, I say!

For when your neck is red

All you want for Christmas

Is a gas-powered snow-sled

Oh, a dream of Christmas

Dreaming of new stain for the redwood deck

A roll-bar for the ATV

A case of skoal dippin’ tobacco, by heck

Or a velvet Elvis for thee and for me

Oh, a dream of Christmas

And as I go back to nightie-night land

I hope for a new liner

To my solid brass spit-can

My Gun and Me

Cold, blue steel art thee

You glow in the sunlight

With a wondrous glow

A wondrous glow, I say!

Double-pump art thee

Your gauge is twelve

Oh, how I do love

To think of

My gun and me—

My gun and me

We go hunting together

In the warm sunlight

Or by firelight

Or in the dead of night

With our trusty spotlight

It matters not to thee

As we blast everything in sight

Oh, to think of my gun and me

As we target a bird

Or stray dog

Or rabid hog

It matters not to thee

Oh, my gun and me

It is no great toil

To feel your quick recoil

Or do a fast re-load

When I need to blast a toad

Your walnut stock is fine

Your crosshairs all in line

I do love thee,

Oh gun of mine

It matters not to thee

Whether I blast a defenseless critter

Or a tree

You don’t care if it’s a deer

Or an empty can of beer

Or whether it’s far or near

You are loud and fast

When I point and blast

Blast! Blast, I say!

And when my dying breath lingers

They’ll have to tear you from my fingers

And then you’ll be buried with me

Oh, my gun and me

They are dirty and filthy with all kinds of grime and slime

From a day’s busy work

Covered in grease, cow dooky, dog dooky, kid dooky

Always steppin’ in some sort of stuff like that

You never complain or cause me pain

For you are my boots

Oh, an ode to my boots

They are sometimes wrapped in duct tape

To add years to their life

They’ve seen dozens of miles

And most of them hard road

You’ve walked in snow, rain, sun, and hog yuck

You don’t ever seem to mind

For you are my boots

Oh, an ode to my boots

You come in different shapes, sizes, and skins

Rattlesnake, ostrich, eel, cowhide, nagahide—which I haven’t figured out yet

I’ve seen so many different kinds

Jaguar, puma, duck, and dog

Anything dead makes a good boot

Just shoot it and wrap it on your foot

How many miles have we walked together, my friend?

Who can tell?

We’ve been everywhere and seen everything

But you never gripe or beg

For you are my boots

Oh, an ode to my boots

Your toe might be made of steel

Which is good when I grab the wrong wire

Your inside might be woolen and thick

Which is good when I’m lost in the snow

Your heel may stomp a lot

Which is good when we line dance at the honky-tonk

For you are my boots

And I love you

Oh, an ode to my boots

Oh, an ode to my beaten, torn, taped, beat up, stripped,

Weathered, worn down, worn out,

Dooky covered boots

Oh, how I love you

For you are my boots

My RV and Me

What can I say of thee, my RV?

You are big

And you are loud

I rev your engine

And you make me proud

For you are my RV

And I love thee

I love your hot-tub

That is three foot deep

And your vinyl interior

Just makes me weep

I punch the cruise control

And leave the wheel

To fix a sandwich,

My afternoon meal

I love your king-size bed

That I fold out in back

I haven’t changed the sheets in years

But that don’t mean jack

For you are big

And you are loud

I rev your engine

And you make me proud

For you are my RV

And I love thee

My RV and Me

Go driving together across the land

The mileage may be poor

And there’s a missing door

But we make our stand

For what is more ‘merican

Than roaming around wild and free

Wind whipping in my hair

Without a care

Watching others stare

Knowing it ain’t fair

That I have my RV

For you are big

And you are loud

I rev your engine

And you make me proud

For you are my RV

And I love thee

---I thank you.